| i pretty much am sick of school.
i'm kinda lonely, bored, tired, missing home
missing scott, missing everything that isn't here
i love that my brother is here. he's awesome. i'm really ready to graduate. 1 semester left. |
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| so i havent written in about 2 months. maybe longer.
not much has changed. well except for that i got kicked out....or moved out of my house.
that was dramatic. but it was for the best.
i'm living with my friend kim, its good. i still see my family all the time seeing as i live like 5 miles away.
but its nice to have a little freedom.
im still dating scott. and i love him with all my heart.
he's amazing. wednesday is his birthday (22!) and thursday is 7 months.
!!!! hes really awesome. i cant wait for you all to meet him.
he's moving up to boone in august or september. that'll be really good for him.
we spend a lot of time together, so being apart might be a big shock at first
but i'm kind of looking forward to change. he'll love being in boone, and i'm really looking forward to coming back to johnson. ill see him on the weekends, so it'll be good.
i've come to the realization that i am probably/most likely one of THE most unmotivated people i know.
there are like 5 million things i want to do/think about doing all the time.
for instance. i've been going to the gym lately....cuz i really wanna lose weight.
i go with scott, but when i cant go...scott still goes, alone.
now, when scott cant go....i dont go. i am not motivated to go AT ALL when someone cant go with me, mainly scott.
same goes with reading the bible. we've been trying to read through proverbs. but when we dont read it together,
i generally dont read it. i have a couple times, but more often than not...i dont.
this is just crazy. and its not just with scott. its with everything. i am not self motivated at all
and its really frustrating actually. i really want to be able to be like ...this is want i am going to do.....
and actually do it. but...it doesnt happen.
any suggestions!??!....sigh.
anyway. i am really looking forward to being back in knoxville. i miss all my friends.
and!!! there will be a new addition to my johnson friends...her name is Marlee.
you all will love her. she lives here and goes to my church. shes transfering from gardner webb. or whatever.
shes awesome. awesome awesome. i'm excited.
time for bed. hopefully it wont be 2 months before i update you on my life again.
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i'm coming to knoxville for graduation.
im pretty excited.
ps i got accepted for those of you who dont already know. |
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i'm kinda sad about a few things.
i hate losing friends.
and i feel like i've lost a few.
not on purpose, or...anything.
i just feel like theres huge distance.
i dunno. i mean.
ugh.
i just think about going back to school.
it sucks thinking that things will be different.
cuz i remember it one way, with certain people.
but its not going to be that way anymore.
it stinks.
and right now i wanna cry.
things are just really weird right now
i dont know what it is.
more happened today that has just made me feel really emotional.
i feel really disconnected from people, from my family, from my church.
but at the same time i feel happy.
i dunno.
my heart is restless. i feel tired a lot.
i miss people. school. class. friends. laughs.
im ready for something new.
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back from mexico
it was awesome.
i'm tired though.
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